He embarrassingly confessed to peeking in our cabinwindow at a Christian retreat once. After my minister husband died,he said what he saw that night has burned in his memory ever since. He is a professional videographer and an industrial designer who createsall kinds of sets and techno toys so that he can, as he puts it,“Capture that orgasmic demon inside me fighting to be set free.” Can you imagine a minister’s wife having a demon secretly living insideher for 35 years of marriage? I met my husband as I was beginning my novitiate at the DominicanConvent of Saint Jude in 1980. He was older than I and was attendinghis last year at New Orleans Baptist Seminary. As a Postulate I thoughtI had “let go” of my needs of the outside. But that all changed whenI met my future husband.We first met on a farm where we both were working to pay our way through school. It was hot that year in Alabama, as it always was; but in mid-July of 1980 it was on week 2 of +100 degree weather on the farm.Since. As he looked to his wife he saw the final nail being hammered into the coffin. There was a feeling of relief that ran through his veins, finally he had gotten out, gotten out of a relationship he no longer wanted. He kept the woman on top of his now soft cock and only stared at his wife's chocolate hued eyes. No words were spoken from either person in the room as Tara looked at the emerald colored ones of her husband. Her eyes seemed to take in not only the seen of her husband and the woman, but also her entire life with him. Flashes of their life together moved before her eyes and as if a slow novel were being read to her in fast forward, she saw it never should have been a marriage. It was just another way fro her to have someone care for her, someone notice her, someone to make her feel special. She hung her head and turned away. The walk to the beach was slow, but healing, as she came to realize how little she had meant to him and how little she seemed to mean to herself as well..
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